Cats, Lesbians, and Pizza
by Blood Red Kisses
Summary: House has an interesting day at work when a certain someone shows up looking seductive. CameronCuddy pairing. Kind of...Rated M to be safe.


Hello, everyone!! For those of you reading Stalking You Always, just know, I have not abandoned it! I'm still writing. Actually, I've got most of the next chaper done, it's just not...done.

So, this is a wierd little humor drabble/oneshot I thought of earlier today. It all began a few days ago when I thought, I'd like to see Cameron in some kitty ears. This morning, out pops this little fic! I hope you enjoy it!!

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Doctor Gregory House could not believe his unnaturally bright blue eyes. No, he wouldn't believe them. In all the years he has suffered, I mean worked, at the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, he never fathomed seeing such an unbelievable sight. It was impossible, improbable, impracticable!! Yet…somehow, quite interesting.

For you see, our sweet, innocent, little Allison Cameron had her body propped against the entrance to House's pseudo-office (The one they diagnose people in…) dressed in a tight, black tank top that ended right above her belly button and a tight black skirt that began at her hip bone and went down about mid-thigh with a lining of black lace. Her long, black boots stopped right above her knee and more black lace poked out of the top. To top off the alluring nightmare, she wore a pair of kitty-ears on her head and a tail attached to the skirt, both the same dark brunette as her hair. Her eyes were darkened with black eye liner and mascara. One kitty-paw gloved hand was raised to her chin as she blinked seductively.

"W-what...the hell, Cameron?" Foreman seemed to be the only one who could speak, albeit, his question came out more of a squeekment than a statement as he tried so hard to look away. House and Chase just stared, open-mouthed and obvious perverse thoughts. Cameron grinned, very cat-like I might add, and slinked into the office.

"Try not to stare too much, **boys**." She emphasized 'boys'. Her mischievous grin widened as she closed House's mouth, much like one would see in an old cartoon. Just then, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around Cameron's waist and pulled her back slightly. Cuddy's face appeared at the nape of Cameron's neck and started nuzzling her. Cameron leaned her head back and almost seemed to purr. House watched on in a sort of trance-like curiosity as Cuddy's hands traveled up Cameron's stomach and slipped under her shirt.

"Enjoying yourself, House?" Cuddy grinned as Cameron moaned House's name.

"House. House….HOUSE!!!"

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House jerked his head upright instantly. To say he was confused would be an understatement. There, standing before him, was Cameron. Not dressed in a slutty cat outfit, but instead in blue jeans and a silk shirt.

"House, you're drooling. What happened?" Cameron stared at him with slight concern and much annoyance.

"Where am I?" He quickly wiped the drool away.

"Your office. We were discussing the patient when you zoned out. You started drooling about then. I've been calling your name for five minutes now. What happened?"

House was many things right now. He was confused, embarrassed, and kind of (really) turned on. But most of all, he was irritated! Here he was, having the damn best moment of his life, and it was ruined. Ruined by the one who had contributed to it, no less.

But as he sat there, pondering the day's events, he had but one thought.

"Damn, I need to get rid of that leftover pizza!!"

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I am so not good at writing slutty little scenes like that, so please just bear with it. It's my first time writing something like this, too, so it's not as good as it could be...

And just so you know, when it comes to the show House, or any show, really, I'm an anyone/anyone shipper. As long as it's written cute, I'll read anything. I just like pairing people with other people. So, hopefully, expect to see a lot of random pairings! And I'm off to finish SYA. It should be out either later tonight or tomorrow night!!

Review, please!!!!


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